Childrens' Day.
Thursday, October 01, 2009 4:55 AM
It is 4.56am and it is the 1st of October, which means that it's Childrens' Day. Too all those who still gets to celebrate today, Happy Childrens' Day to all of you and enjoy while you can, before life fucks you and you "lose it". Have you ever in any point of your life wished that you were a kid again? Cause I do, very much. Things are just so different when you are younger. I am not that old myself but well, you get my drift don't you?
Things just seem simpler and life is just way much easier to get by when you're still a child, you know why? Because that is the point of life where we do not give a fuck to what's really happening. We know we're young, we're kids, and we have no responsibilities to burden ourselves with so we tend to enjoy the fuck out of everything we do irregardless of whether it is right or wrong and I miss those days where life was carefree and when we were all genuinely happy. Like what people always say, "those were the days...". I am happy with my life now, really(although I am only left with both my sisters and my grandmother together with many uncles and aunties who always pretend like they care when they so fucking don't).
I lost my father 8months ago, seems like it was just yesterday huh? Time flies, and losing my father made me realise how fucking fragile life really is. Also, the death of my father showed me who's true and who wasn't. I was devastated when my father left but hey, we should always look on the bright side of life shouldn't we? So yeah, I am thankful because I still have people who I know would be there for me even if the whole world walks out. I still miss my father very much though.
I was in love last year, or so I thought. I was happy when I was with him but when my father passed away and he wasn't there by my side, I knew I had to leave him. I just cannot be with someone who doesn't give a fuck to my family because my family's important to me. I was at a loss of what to do then, because I lost two loved ones at one go but I stayed strong with the help of friends around me and I moved on. What didn't killed me, made me stronger!
Then I met my Masham♥ we may not have been together for long(dated for almost 4/official for almost 2). But I know this is something different, something so not like when I was Afiq and I thank god for bringing my Masham♥ to me because he now plays a very important role in my life and he's my pillar of strength, my everything.
But I am certainly not happy with where I am now in life. I am turning 18 in three months and yet I have accomplished nothing big in my life. Should be doing something to change that now, enough of wasting my life away, time to wake up.
I do not know why I typed all that I typed, it is like my fingers have a mind of their own. Pardon me for the long wordy post, I wanna rest my fingers and brain now, bye.