I remember the first day we talked, the first day we met, the first day we kissed, the first day we quarreled, the first we fight, the first day i cried for you, the first day you made me feel like the sky is falling down, the first day you made me feel like dying, the first day you made me cried, the first day for everything.

I loved you so much, you were the first official boyfriend I had after the happy yet traumatising scary years I spent with Andi. I gave you so many chances, you made mistakes, you broke my heart and tore me apart but I stayed, I was determined to change you. I kept believing in you, even Daddy loves you so much, treated you like his own son but you did not appreciate every single thing I have done to keep the "us" together.

But then you crossed the limit, and I broke up with you because you did not come to the hospital when Daddy was admitted, because you did not attend Daddy's funeral, because you did not love my family, because you were not beside me when my whole world fell apart, when I needed you most. You were not there, beside me...

You went missing, or rather, we drifted apart, from each other's life and so I continued living without you. It was tough but I managed, then you came back, saying that you wanna meet me. I met you, and so from then, we started spending our days together again. I tried, to ignore the fact that you were not there at my weakest and tried forgiving you. You keep assuring me, and you promised me alot of stuffs, saying that you've changed and all, you came back for another chance. I was yours, though we weren't official.

But slowly, I began to realise that I cannot forgive you, because everytime you talked about Daddy, when you say "I promise to Daddy...", to me, it is all bullshits. I realised that maybe it is not love, maybe I am just too used to being around you, too used to having you in my everyday life, afterall we were together for a year.

And then I started distancing myself from you, I made new friends, moved on with my life. I started to be happy again, though at times I missed you. Now, I am proud to say that I've did it, with what happened just now, I am more than glad to say, I am glad I walked away.

Muhammad Afiq, please do not look for me anymore.
I wish you all the happiness in the world. You are going to NS soon, on the 12 of June, take care of yourself, of your family, especially your Mum. I am sorry I cannot be what your Mum wants me to be..