Friday, June 06, 2008 8:16 AM
Wednesday, 040608.Woke up, went over to Afiq's.
Then back home as cousins came over.
Slacked at home.
Family dinner, at the coffee shop downstairs.
Then went to meet Afiq again.
Accompanied him to the doctor's.
Slacked at his house for a while and then I went home.
Thursday, 050608.
I'm sick, yes, got the germs from Afiq.
Slept the whole afternoon away.
Yuhanis came over at about 7plus pm.
We went to collect her photos, and then we cabbed to Simpang.
Met Alia and Hafiz, had dinner.
Then Yuhanis and I cabbed to Afiq's.
Zul and Razif and friends was also there and Yuhanis left a while later.
Bllah blah blah, slacked with his friends and all.
Went back at 4plus am.
And that's when shit happened.....
I felt like meeting Andi, so I went over to his place.
Called his phone but it was off and so I knocked on the window.
He came out and we talked for a little while.
He's like a different person, not the Andi I know years back and certainly not the Andi whom I just talked to earlier in the afternoon.
He pierced his tongue, and the way he talk is just so not him.
He asked me if I wanted to talk at the staircase but I said no, and I walked away.
Called Alia and I broke down.
Where's the Andi I used to know?
Then I sat at the building across his block and cry while talking to Alia.
And then I saw Andi and a girl walking out from his house.
He sent the girl back, I mean, to get a cab.
And I saw it all, but he didn't see me.
I shouted his full name, twice and then he came towards me.
We talked and I made up stories about myself, just to hurt him.
I don't know if it did, but when I said those stuffs, I know I was hurting real bad.
When I walked away, Alia cried and I cried too...
I don't know why I said those stuffs, but they just came out of my mouth, like nothing.
And then I called Afiq, and I told him to meet me.
He was very shocked to hear my voice like that, seeing that he's never seen me cry before.
And when I reached, he didn't see me but I saw him.
The look on his face when he was looking for me, is exactly like how Andi used to look like when he was looking for me.
Worried, very very worried.
When I saw him, I cried and I told him everything.
And all he did was hold my hands, and listened.
He let me cry my hearts out.
Then he said :
U da janji i pe, that u tkkn jumpe die lagi.
And I cried even harder.
Then he said :
Da la u, org mcm die kn, lupekn sudah, u tkmo waste air mata u.
I pon tk suke tgk u mcm gini, da la u, tkmo gini, u ade i kn.
And then he made me smile.
:D
And we talked, and then I burned Andi's face, yes, the very last picture I have of him.
We talked even more and then Daddyo called Afiq, asking whether he's with me.
And so, Afiq got me a cab and then I went home.
What more lessons are you putting me through, God?
Please stop all these, I am only human, after all.
To Afiq :
U, I'm sorry that I met him.
And, thank you for understanding me so much.
Please give me more time.
You're very nice and I certainly don't wanna lose you.
All I need is time, really.
I promise that what happened just now, will never happen again.
I'm sorry if I did hurt you.
xoxo
To Razif :
"Da la Joey, tkmo pkr2 k.
Lain kali if ko nmpk dier just ignore and go home straight.
I know it's hard to forget a guy who have been with you for so long, but you have to move on and try to forget him and it's time for you to open a new chapter.
Lagipn you already have Afiq and he's way more better than Andi.
He's the one who can do anything for a girl, and that girl is you.
So, treasure him and don't let him walk away from your life cause he's the one who can make you happy k.
Da la, don't think about it anymore k."
Thank you very much.
And I know, I won't let him leave, don't worry.
Thanks for being there, Razif.
:D
To Alia :
You have always been there, through all my worsest shit with me.
And I don't know how to thank you for that.
Words cannot express how glad I am to have you.
I love you very much, and to what you posted in your blog,
"The one who gave me so much strength through these years."
YOU ARE ALSO THE ONE WHO GAVE ME SO MUCH STRENGTH THROUGH THESE YEARS, BABYGIRL.
I love you very much, and may we be strong enough to go through all together.
My bestest, ever!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo