Tuesday, September 18, 2007 4:39 PM
Things were so horrible last night .I just cant believe it .
Why now of all times to let me find out,
WHY NOW ?
I was moving on so nicely,
new friends,
new life and all .
Why must you let me find out ?
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY .
Its like,
i`ve already climbed up a tree and,
just when im about to reach the top where i can find all the nice apples,
you pulled me down,
and i mean ALL THE WAY DOWN .
I never thought that i`ll still have tears for you .
I never thought that i`ll still be upset because of you .
I thought i never will again,
BUT im so wrong .
I never knew that i`ll be so affected .
Leave me alone will you ?
Stop all this torturing .
Get out of my life .
I wanna move out .
I wanna migrate,
to somewhere where i don know anybody .
I wanna start anew .
I wan to be me,
not the idiot who still gets affected by you .
I don even know who i am or why im doing the things that im doing now .
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY .
I cannot take it anymore .
Its just so not worth it .
I don wan anything which reminds me of you anymore .
I even had the heart to burn our pictures yesterday,
and i was just about to go home,
WHEN I SAW YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU .
Fuck .
Why things always turn out this way ?
Just when i thought that i`ll never be affected by you again,
you appeared .
Maybe that`s just God`s way of telling me to dream on eh ?
You`re a painful part of my past,
the part where i wish i can erase/delete/forget .
Though i know that its impossible,
but i really wish so .
Im so tired of all this .
Im really so fragile now .
I mean,
why must you still cry to me and everything when you already....
Hais .
Im so lost now,
you`ve brought me to somewhere foreign and just dumped me there .
Who`s gonna lead me the way out of this mess ?
Who`s gonna be the one showing me what to do ?
Who`s the one who`s gonna be reassuring me that i`ll be fine ?
Who`s the one`s who`s gonna tell me that what`s past has past ?
Who`s gonna tell me that i`ll be okay ?
I CANT THINK ANYMORE,
really i cant .
My mind`s full with that bitch`s sentence .
My heart stopped when i heard that .
I really don know what to do .
I really don know what to think .
Somebody,
help me please .
Please tell me that i`ll be fine .
Please tell me that leaving him was right .
Please tell me what i should do now .
Please tell me that im not alone .
Please tell me that its okay to cry .
PLEASE............................................